The Mask of Niceness—Spotting Fake People in a World of Pretenders

“The Mask of Niceness—Spotting Fake People in a World of Pretenders”

We’ve all encountered them. People who smile wide, talk sweet, and make you feel like you’re the center of their universe—until you realize that behind the sparkle is something hollow. Something false. That “friend” who disappears when you need them. The co-worker who acts like your biggest supporter but secretly roots for your downfall. The acquaintance who plays nice to your face but gossips the minute you walk away.

I used to take these kinds of interactions personally. I’d wonder what I did wrong, why the vibe shifted, or how someone could pretend to care while actively betraying my trust. But over time—and with more than a few emotional bruises—I’ve come to accept something hard but freeing: some people are just fake. And it has nothing to do with me.

We live in a world obsessed with image. Social media rewards filters, polished captions, and highlight reels. We’ve become experts at pretending. But at what cost?

Here’s the truth: being nice is easy. Being kind is not. Niceness can be a performance. It’s polite. It plays the game. But kindness—real, honest kindness—requires heart. It’s consistent. It doesn’t need a stage or an audience. It’s there when no one is watching.

Fake people tend to show up when it benefits them. They’re present when the cameras are rolling, when the crowd is cheering, or when your success rubs off on them. But the moment things get real—when you’re hurting, vulnerable, or no longer “useful”—they vanish. Or worse, they twist your story to justify their exit.

So what do we do with that? Do we become cold? Guarded? Bitter?

No. We become wiser.

We stop giving our best to people who only offer their bare minimum. We stop mistaking attention for affection. We stop believing that someone’s polished words are proof of a loyal heart.

Instead, we start paying attention to actions. Who checks in when you’re silent? Who shows up without being asked? Who claps when you win and holds space when you fall? Those are your people.

And if you’ve found yourself pretending—wearing a mask because you’re afraid to be real, vulnerable, flawed—let this be a gentle nudge: authenticity is hard, but it’s worth it. You don’t need to be everything to everyone. You just need to be real with the right ones.

So here’s my reminder today—for you and for me:

Don’t chase approval. Don’t water yourself down to fit into fake friendships. And don’t let someone’s performance keep you from seeing their true character.

Let your circle be small, but solid. Choose people who talk to you, not about you. Who lift you up, not use you up. Who love you as you are, not just as you appear.

Because in a world full of fakes, being genuine is your superpower.

—Dr. Nick 💬