The Looks We Give Others
The Looks We Give Others
There’s a kind of language that doesn’t require words.
A glance across the room.
An eyebrow raised.
A side-eye.
A look of disapproval.
A look of pity.
A look of judgment.
We’ve all seen them.
We’ve all given them.
And we’ve all felt them — those silent stares that speak louder than any sentence ever could.
We live in a world where we’re constantly being seen, evaluated, sized up. Sometimes it’s subtle, and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s the way someone looks at you when you walk into a room and you don’t quite “fit.” Sometimes it’s when you say something honest, and someone gives you that look — the one that says, “You’re too much,” or “You don’t belong,” or worse, “You should be embarrassed.”
The truth is, looks can wound just as deeply as words — and they often linger longer.
Because we replay them.
We remember how someone’s eyes narrowed.
How they glanced down and up again.
How they didn’t need to say anything for us to feel entirely out of place.
But here's something we often forget: The look we give others often says more about us than it does about them.
It’s a mirror of our own discomfort, our own biases, our own insecurities.
Sometimes we judge what we don’t understand.
Sometimes we project what we fear.
Sometimes we just forget that the person in front of us is carrying a story we can’t see.
You never know what someone’s going through.
You don’t know how long it took them to get out of bed that day.
What it cost them to show up.
How much courage it took to wear what they’re wearing, or say what they said.
And a single look — kind or cruel — can either build someone up or shut them down.
So here’s the reflection:
What kind of looks are you giving?
When someone stumbles over their words, do your eyes show grace or embarrassment?
When someone shares something vulnerable, do you meet it with compassion or critique?
When someone’s different, do your eyes offer welcome — or warning?
And maybe the harder question:
What looks are you remembering?
What stares have stayed with you?
What facial expressions are still etched in your memory from when you were trying your best… and someone silently told you it wasn’t enough?
You are not what someone’s look said about you.
You are not defined by the raised eyebrow, the side smirk, the condescending once-over.
But you are responsible for the looks you give.
You have power in your presence — even in your silence.
Use it to lift, not to shrink.
To comfort, not to shame.
To include, not to isolate.
Because the way we look at someone might be the one thing they carry with them for days.
So may your gaze be soft.
Your eyes be kind.
Your face be safe.
Because the world has enough harsh stares.
Let yours be one that helps someone feel seen — and still loved.
