Dr. Nick’s Reflection: A Relationship of Faith, Not Transactions

There was a time when I unknowingly treated my relationship with God as if it were a transaction. I would pray with an expectation—"God, if I do this, will You do that?" I would give thanks when things went my way but question Him when they didn’t. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in His goodness; it was that I was measuring it by my circumstances. I was unknowingly placing conditions on a love that had never once placed conditions on me.

But faith is not a bargaining chip. It is not a series of trade-offs where obedience earns blessings and struggles mean we’ve somehow fallen out of favor. The love of God is not a currency to be exchanged—it is a gift freely given, a grace that cannot be earned yet is always enough. And yet, so often, we find ourselves saying, "Lord, if You answer this prayer, then I’ll be more faithful," or "If You remove this burden, then I’ll trust You more." But that is not faith. That is control.

God is not a vending machine, where the right number of prayers or good deeds guarantees the outcome we desire. If that were the case, how could we ever grow? How could we ever learn to trust when the road is uncertain, when the answers seem far away, when the silence is deafening? It is in those moments—the ones where we cannot see the way forward—that real faith is forged. Because faith is not about getting what we want; it is about trusting God even when we don’t.

There have been prayers in my life that God answered with a resounding yes, and there have been others that He, in His wisdom, answered differently than I had hoped. At the time, I struggled to understand why. I begged for clarity, pleaded for change, questioned His timing, and at times, even wondered if He was listening at all. But looking back, I see His hand in every moment. I see how His “no” was often a redirection, His delay a divine protection, His silence a space for me to lean in closer. What I once saw as unanswered prayers were, in reality, the greatest blessings of all.

A true relationship with God is not built on conditions but on surrender. It is waking up each day and saying, “Lord, whether I receive what I ask for or not, I will trust You. Whether I walk in blessing or in hardship, I will praise You. Whether the storm rages or the skies clear, I will know that You are with me, and that is enough.”

That kind of faith brings freedom. It releases us from the exhausting weight of trying to earn what has already been given. It allows us to stop striving for control and instead rest in the certainty that God’s love never wavers, that His plans are good, and that even in the waiting, even in the unknown, He is working.

I think about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. The weight of the world—of our sins, of the suffering to come—pressed down upon Him. He prayed, "Father, if You are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done." That moment is the greatest example of faith: He asked, but He surrendered. He brought His heart to the Father, but He trusted His plan above all. And because of that trust, because of that sacrifice, we have the promise of eternity.

So why do we hold back? Why do we hesitate to fully give ourselves to a God who has never abandoned us? Perhaps it’s fear—fear that if we let go, things won’t go the way we want. But that’s the lie we tell ourselves, isn’t it? That our way is better, that our plans are wiser, that our timing is right. Yet time and time again, I have seen that when I finally let go, when I stop treating God as a means to an end and instead as the ultimate end itself, peace follows.

God is not a transaction, but a relationship. He doesn’t want our negotiations; He wants our hearts. He doesn’t ask for perfection; He asks for trust. And when we give Him that trust, even in the uncertainty, even in the waiting, we will find something greater than what we ever hoped for: we will find Him. And He is always enough.

So today, I remind myself—and maybe you need this reminder too—that God is not an "if-then" God. He is a "no matter what" God. He is faithful, He is present, and He is good—not because of what He gives, but because of who He is. And in that, there is peace. There is hope. There is grace upon grace.